APOOCALYPSE NOW

We are in a very bizarre Science Fiction B Movie right now and the entire world has been cast.

Slowly, we realized that this virus was spreading as fast as the news could cover it.  Each country handling things in their own bumbling way… never actually having to deal with something like this in the modern world, we are all on a Petrie dish under a microscope.  There are a lot of reasons governments handle things differently; some are thinking the truth would cause panic and others are only interested in the economy tanking.

I feel fortunate to be in Canada cause my government is actually giving money to people who are unable to work right now and increasing bonuses for families with children.  They are also allowing self -employed individuals, like musicians and entertainers who are normally not allowed assistance, to receive it.  Banks are suspending mortgage payments and hopefully credit cards are suspending payments without penalties.  I’m not sure about that one yet.  Everyone who is not still working is in isolation.  The streets are empty and the grocery stores are starting to have specific short hours.

No matter where you are in the world you have probably noticed the insane rush to buy up all the toilet paper that exists on the planet.  This one confuses me because the virus does not cause diarrhea.  If we are in our houses so long that we run out of T.P.  then go out and buy some, like a normal day, or use a towel for god’s sake and wash it.  Go out and take a crap in the backyard, drag your ass on the grass like the dog and then baggie it.  Seeing people fighting over toilet paper is ridiculous.

Also, embrace the fact that if you are venturing out to buy necessary staples, you will see some of the most inventive home- made Hazmat Suits EVER;  which are mostly comprised of garbage bags and gaffer tape, rubber dish washing gloves and balaclavas, surgical masks,  or scarves tied around faces.  You just can’t buy comedy like that.    It is a feast for the eyes.

Try not to lose your sense of humor during all of this.  Yes, it is daunting to be locked in your house with your partner and children.  I’ve only been in the house for a short time with my partner and I already know that I should hide the axe.  It’s starting to feel a bit like The Shining and we are only shy of two weeks in isolation. I’ve been wearing the same clothes for four days now… they are called pajamas.

My mate in England said, “I used to cough to hide a fart and now I fart to hide a cough.”  I thought that was a good one.

The one positive thing I’m noticing is the incredible connection to people.  The absolute greatness of humanity at times like this.  People trying to help others in lock down around the world with jokes and stories and caring about those that are suffering from anxiety.

I have never been a huge fan of social media but honestly I am so grateful to be part of it now.

The out pouring of love is palpable.  I’ve been talking to people in England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Spain, Sri Lanka, Canada, America and just about everywhere you can think of.  I know that we will survive and my hope is that this changes our world.  It has already helped the planet in terms of shutting down factories and mass production and  taking cars off the road.  The pollution levels are down and animals are returning to places that they have not been due to humans over populating their space for years.  It is like Mother Nature has finally decided to punish her inhibitors because we have been such bad children and never listened to her pleas to change the way we do things. Now we are being forced to.

It is making people slow down and spend time at home with their loved ones.  I feel horrible for people that are separated and especially seniors who are in homes and in lock down and don’t understand why.  Its just awful.  I am so grateful for those health care workers on the front lines who are fearlessly returning to work every day in an effort to keep us safe and alive.  They are heroes. I am grateful for anyone who is still out there working. My job is not happening. My industry has shut down and all of my partners tours and shows have been canceled. It is a bit scary with no income but we will survive this. We know there are so many people out there in the same boat. Anxiety never helped anyone. Listen to good music and dance in your house; play music and watch some good movies and do anything that makes you relax.

Another friend of mine put things into perspective for me when he said, “Imagine our grandparents and parents being called off to war…leaving their families and knowing that they are putting their lives on the line and may never come home.  We are being asked to sit on our couches and watch Netflix.  We can get through this.”

So, I’m on the couch and working my way through Netflix, sipping on wine and occasionally checking in for updates on the news. 

Hanging out with my parrot and cat and goats is not a punishment.  Trying to keep my sanity and my sense of humor.  There are a ton of musicians streaming live shows on the internet so there is no lack of great entertainment. 

Please don’t be an idiot and make things worse by socializing and going to places where crowds of people could be congregating.  Take this seriously.  The world wouldn’t be shutting down if this were not serious.  If you think it is a conspiracy or a hoax then I feel sorry for you because that means you are not helping in containing this virus and will most likely get it and spread it to those that you love, so don’t be an A-Hole; please just stay home if you can.  If you follow the guidelines and still get the virus I hope that you have a speedy recovery and do not end up a victim. 

We are all in this together.  You are not alone wherever you are. 

Big hugs to anyone who needs one right now. 

Stay safe and healthy and this will all pass.

Cheers!

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