Category: ISOLATION

I have not written anything in quite some time, mostly because there is not a lot happening.  My weekly zoom calls on the weekends have dwindled because the last few have been filled with long pauses and too many refills of whatever cocktail I’ve invented that day.    Life is different these days; being confined to our farm for months.  I feel fortunate that I live where I do because I’ve had the freedom to walk outside, through the woods and the pastures and not see a single person, unlike my friends in the city, who have been holed up in small apartments and houses that border neighbors on each side. 

Some of the things I miss the most are concerts with friends, dancing to live music, dinner parties and just hanging out a local pub.  It’s funny how we take so much for granted.

Wearing a mask has now become a normal thing for me and I won’t go into a public space without one.  Being aware of my personal space is heightened.  The equally and precisely spaced lines to enter grocery and liquor stores are straight out of science fiction movies; “Soilent Green is people!!!!”

I also enjoy traveling the world and I am not sure when I will be able to board a plane to the U.K. again, which is a favorite destination.

There are still things I am grateful for.   I am grateful for the technology that allows me to see my pal laying on her bed, covered in animals, talking about whether or not to let the grey hair take over…. Or whether she should pluck that pesky moustache. I am also grateful for the assistance we’ve received from the government to survive without fear of losing our home.  I am grateful that no one in my family has died from the virus.I am grateful for my amazing pets who are thrilled with the fact that we are home all the time.

As I prepare myself for going back to work,  I have some trepidations, and a bit of fear, but also excitement in getting back to a new normal.  I’ve missed the interactions with all the creative, smart and kind people that I work with.   I’ve missed working my brain.  Netflix can no longer satisfy me and I’ve reread most of my favourite books. 

I’ve made an appointment with my hair dresser and that is also scaring me.  I don’t know what direction to go… in terms of colour and cut.  After not having the luxury for so long, I am starting to embrace the obvious grey rootage that has grabbed the top of my head like a skeleton hand with long bony fingers.  I’ve googled different types of grey and hombre’s; starting very dark and ending in white wispy ends.  My colourist has always done whatever he wants even when I have brought in specific photos for him to duplicate on my head.  Luckily for me he is a genius and I have never walked out disappointed.  I dread the eye roll when I tell him I’m thinking of embracing the grey only because it seems to be the new “thing”. 

I’ve somehow walked a tight rope of long- haired hippy and chopped off punk cuts over the years.  When I am feeling really laid back I am into peasant dresses and long hair and when I am feeling more creative and aggressive I lean towards edgy hair that makes a statement. 

I’m just not sure where I am right now… hence the fear.  I wonder if there is a lazy and bored; “I can’t get my ass off of the couch”, look. 

As we slowly come back out of our houses I hope that it is done slowly and with caution.  If we simply jump back into the old way of doing things then we will all  be back in lock down.

Anyone who refuses to wear a mask and physically distance, because it is an infringement on their rights, should stop wearing seatbelts in cars and helmets on bikes because those are also rules set in place to save your life. 

I used to say that I don’t judge people but if you are that stupid then I am going to judge you.

When I think of my life so far I realize that I have not lived through two world wars like my parents and grandparents.  I have not lived through a great depression or prohibition but I will be able to say that I lived through the pandemic of 2020.  

Stay strong  and  play safe everyone. 

I could post my most influential albums over the years but everyone is doing that on Facebook.  A lot of musicians are offering live concerts to keep us entertained during this freak show but it just isn’t the same as going to a club or festival where you are in a throng of people who are all energized by the music; dancing and jumping with excitement where electricity is in the air;  instead it’s the smell of recently fried bacon, grilled cheese and farts while you are reclined on your sinking couch.   I watched amateurs offering up karaoke versions of their favourite songs.   This has led me to believe that everyone in the world has an ‘effing brilliant voice.  A wealth of untapped talent.  People who are too afraid to perform in front of a live audience; have jobs; kids, or simply shelved their dreams, are suddenly hosting live stream concerts, within the comforts of their own home, and are knocking it out of the park.  Of course, not everyone is brilliant, but I do enjoy seeing a middle-aged man belting out Tom Jones in his basement under a disco ball.  Now that is entertainment.   

People are also constantly going outside and plugging in guitars to entertain their neighbors with the one riff they know; the intro to “A Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin.  I’m threatening to go sit out on my porch and play the spoons; unaccompanied for a few hours; over a speaker. 

Fortunately for me, I live in the country so I am not sandwiched in by idiots who don’t understand the meaning of social distancing.  It drives me nuts at the grocery store when someone enters my space ,during normal times , but it is dangerous right now, especially for them, and I’m not talking about the virus.  It is  because I took self defense 35 years ago.  I think you get my meaning.  Hands like fire… or was it concrete… anyway, I’m not someone to be crossed during an epidemic. 

I think the worst part of all of this is the boredom.  I have watched all of Netflix and I’m making my way through Amazon Prime and Crave.  My friends and I have done the Zoom meetings where we all drink fancy cocktails and pass out on our computers before the session ends.  I’ve also done the family Zoom get togethers, where we haven’t quite figured out the talking one at a time thing, and I am always transfixed on how hideous I look. 

Moving on to my hair.  I was delusional thinking my natural hair colour was blonde.  My natural hair colour is apparently grey.   I’ve been sporting red hair for a couple of years now and, it’s a tough one to maintain, especially during a lock down, thus letting my hair grow out is a bit of a luxury.  I don’t have that beautiful white or silver root-age, mine is more of the squeezed out Brillo Pad variety.  Part of me is gleeful to bring it on because my partner is now sporting a full grey beard.  He has the Covid play-offs beard and refuses to shave it.  So my revenge is to gradually turn into my mother.  I will, however, draw the line at the tight pin-curled perm that she embraced. On the beard/moustache front, I am determined to not pluck my facial hair in an effort to see who can grow a full on Burt Reynolds before this is over.

And lastly, moving onto drinking and eating.  When we first went into isolation I was determined to make a different cocktail every night.  I was doing so well I gave myself heart burn, waking up each night like a fire breathing dragon.  I decided I should switch to wine but when we started demolishing the king-size party bottle every night I knew we needed to take a break.  So, we switched to beer, and ,after a week and a half, I could no longer get my pants zipped up.   

I’m now comfortable in sleepwear all day long, but sometimes, I change to loungewear, which is fancier, but still stretchy.  A few days ago, I succumbed to the realization that “drying out” is probably a good idea and eating like I’m at a baseball game every night should also stop.

I’m moving into my Covid healthy phase which means eating veggies and clean meat and low sugar. If I can just get through one day. I have to quiet the voice in my head that says, “Who gives a shit, nobody is going to see you for months! Pass the bloody chips and that pitcher of Brown Cows!!”

Soon the weather will become warm enough to put in my garden and set up my pool and both of these things are obsessing my thoughts.    One gives me a return on my hard work with fresh vegetables, and the other satisfies my need to float.

I hope you are all managing in isolation and I know that mental health plays a large part in getting  through this bizarre futuristic science fiction bullshit.  Try not to lose your sense of humour and stay connected with people in any way you can.  There will come a day when you are hugging someone and thinking, “Deodorant might be a good idea.”

Stay safe everyone.  Big virtual hugs.  Thanks for reading.

xo